About The Song
In 1975 when Earl Thomas Conley and his future record producer Nelson Larkin still lived in Huntsville, Alabama, they frequently headed over to Muscle Shoals to hang out with some of the local musicians. They formed a friendship with songwriter Tommy Brasfield. Despite their camaraderie, Brasfield never pitched a song to Conley until 1983, when he finally felt he had written one suited to Earl’s musical personality: “Holding Her And Loving You.”
Tommy and his songwriting buddy Walt Aldridge composed the number about a friend of theirs who was going through the difficult situation described in the song’s storyline. They were talking about this guy one night, trying to put themselves in his place and imagining what it must be like to be in that sad predicament. “Holding Her And Loving You” was born out of their conversation.
When Brasfield took the song to Nashville, Conley and producer Larkin were preparing for a rough recording session. Earl wanted to use his road band in the studio, but the night before, things had not progressed well. They decided that evening to bring in session players for the next day’s work, but only after a long, drawn-out argument. Larkin wasn’t particularly thrilled about the songs they planned to cut, and decided to attend the session out of duty.
Larkin was about to head to the studio when Brasfield came into his office, promising a hit for Conley. The producer tried to put off listening to the demo, but at Tommy’s insistence he put the tape in his cassette player. Nelson didn’t like the first song, but he let the tape run while he gathered up material and after hearing the first few lines of the next track, “Holding Her And Loving You,” he knew he had a hit.
Getting Earl to listen wasn’t easy. Larkin showed up at the session fifteen minutes late and Conley didn’t want to hear anything new. They worked on the two scheduled songs and after things went smoothly, Earl consented to listen to “Holding Her And Loving You.” After hearing just three lines, he decided to record it. The musicians played it through just twice and Conley laid down his track. But Earl was getting sick and didn’t feel like doing another take. He promised Larkin that he would come back in and do another vocal when he felt better, but the producer didn’t want a second performance. Nelson thought the first one was perfect.
“Holding Her And Loving You” sailed to #1 on Billboard’s country singles chart November 26, 1983, becoming Conley’s fourth of his eighteen career chart-toppers, and is one of the hits included in Earl’s string of sixteen number ones in a row. This achievement ties Sonny James for second place on the list of consecutive number one singles (Alabama holds the clear-cut record with twenty-one). After reaching the summit, “Holding Her And Loving You” earned respect for Aldridge and Brasfield from their peers when the Nashville Songwriters Association named it the “Song of the Year.”
Video
Lyrics
It’s the third-hardest thing I’ll ever do
Leavin’ here without you
And the second-hardest thing I’ll ever do
Is tellin’ her about you
She’s been good to me when things were goin’ rough
How can I tell her now, good ain’t good enough
Oh, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
Is holding her, and loving you
If she’d give me one good reason, I’d be gone
She ain’t done one thing wrong
So don’t expect me just to walk out of the door
I still love her, but I love you more
She’s been good to me when things weren’t goin’ right
She made my days long before you made my nights
So the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
Is holding her, and loving you
Yeah, the hardest thing I’ve ever have to do
Is holding her, and loving you
Girl, the hardest thing I’ve ever have to do
Is holding her, and loving you